Non-attachment

There was a time, when I felt happy almost every day. I was carefree, having the time of my life.

Lucunya, dulu waktu lagi puncak-puncaknya bahagia itu, justru aku sering merasa berat hati.

Pernah, suatu sore, di tengah menghabiskan waktu dengan teman sambil menikmati pemandangan indah, aku hampir menangis. “Sunsetnya indah banget ya… Aku jadi pengen nangis.”

Si teman terheran-heran, “Lho... Kenapa malah pengen nangis?”

“Nggak, maksudnya karena terharu hehe,” buru-buru aku jawab. Padahal kenyataannya bukan semata-mata karena terharu. Tapi lebih karena resah menyadari kesenangan ini cepat atau lambat akan berlalu. Aku ingin waktu berhenti demi bisa senang terus.

I was addicted to the pleasure. I was always wanting to have more. I just couldn’t stand the idea of experiencing any less pleasurable moment, let alone any hardship.

Sekarang, hidupku berjalan lebih biasa-biasa saja dari masa itu. Lebih datar. Kadang juga terasa lelah dan penat.

Yet, I am strangely feeling content. I am more aware of what is happening. I accept things happen as they are. I am okay with having fewer exciting moments.

A few days ago I even found myself fall asleep with a smile in my face, feeling incredibly grateful for simple things in life. It’s not that my life is problem-free, it’s just that I know things come and go and it would be a waste to anchor my happiness on those ephemeral stuff.

I have found what it’s like to be a minimalist. I begin to understand the notion of non-attachment. And now I am learning to appreciate the beauty of an experience, a relationship, or a possession without having any unnecessary attachment to it.